Sometimes when there is what feels like needless suffering, you want to ask, “Why?” and you wonder if God is really listening to your prayers. I know that I don’t have a direct line to God or anything, but I do regularly feel His presence in my everyday life. However, I have been struggling to find placements for one particular person. She needs a good and steady income to support herself and her child. I know that some poor decisions led her to the temp agency, and that she is willing and ready to move on with her life and follow a better path. Unfortunately, no one seems ready to give this woman the second chance she needs. I have been praying about what to do and feel like I have not gotten an answer. I feel lost and she is getting more and more desperate. I am afraid that she will go back down the dark path she walked before if I don’t find her something soon.
I am putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to help her, and it is making things worse. I am getting frustrated and short with people in situations that I previously handled just fine. When I went to confession last week, I talked about all of this with Father Tom. He told me that unfortunately, a big part of faith is believing that God is listening without needing proof that He really is. Also that sometimes the answers we get are not the answers we are looking for. Therefore, we either don’t see them for what they are or we don’t appreciate God’s response.
While what Father Tom told me made a lot of sense, it made me feel bad as well. It made me feel like a bad Catholic, I guess. To have to be reminded to have faith and to accept God’s Will felt like basic things I should have known already. Father Tom was nice enough about saying all of it and was not scolding me at all, nor did he treat me like a spoiled child, but I felt the rebuke all the same. All I want is to find this woman a job so that she’ll see His good deeds and stay on a healthy path. I don’t really know why that is so hard to do, but I am clearly missing something.
I know that there is a Divine Plan and that it is impossible for me to know everything about it. Maybe God has a higher purpose for her and we simply have to wait for the opportunity to present itself. I do not know if that is the case. I certainly hope it is. I guess I just have to keep looking, hoping, and praying, and keeping my eyes and heart open for God’s response — no matter what that opportunity might look like.
What do you do when you don’t feel like He is listening?